Men don’t like housework
“Women don’t like it either.”
But they deal with it better.
You might be able to “make” your man do the dishes, but he doesn’t want to. No, not even if you cooked. You might “make” him do the laundry, but he doesn’t want to — not even if you did it yesterday.
“But it’s not fair.”
It’s not about being “fair”. Life is not fair. Life is hard and marriage is hard. Marriage is work. What are you working on in marriage?
You’re working to make it a happy one. Each partner is working to keep their partner happy. That’s what they should be doing, anyway.
What to see a marriage going down hill? It’s the one where one of them or both of them are trying to make the other make them happy.
Happiness comes from the inside.
How?
It doesn’t come by itself. You have to make it. You have to make yourself happy. Not by forcing others to be or act in a way that makes you happy. That is certainly not fair, and it’s not going to work in the long run.
We often refer to such people as “naggers”. When someone is nagging in the marriage there is a problem, but I say if the wife is nagging to the husband about the dishes, the problem is not the husband, it’s that the wife doesn’t do the dishes when she wants them done. Now she’s expecting her satisfaction from someone else. She’s making herself miserable, and her husband on top of that!
Maybe the husband is lazy. She’s done all the work. He should contribute. Right? Maybe, but who’s really suffering while the wife fumes about the dishes? She is!
My advice to her is to go and do the dishes, and then sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and figure out what is wrong in the marriage and how to fix it.
Hint: when you do what you’ve always done, you get what you’ve always got. Upgrading the nagging to a higher level is probably not going to help, and avenging by withholding other services, being rude or by reminding them about who did and what, is also not going to make a happy marriage.
A happy marriage is made with a loving and merciful attitude, not with a resentful one.
