How to recover from depression, part 5 — Socialize
It’s totally normal if you don’t feel like socializing. It’s also totally normal if you do, but are too terrified or anxious to do so. Your mind will be constantly pushing you old and new thoughts about the worst sides of you, your past mistakes, imagined mistakes and your weaknesses. It will find the tiniest of flaw from you or something you have or have had or have been or have imagined being and it will make a mountain out of a molehill. You might have gotten dressed, packed your bags and been ready to go, happily, to meet people, when suddenly your heart sinks and mere existence feels heavy — meeting people feels impossible.
And maybe since you’re down in the rut, you’re thinking, I don’t want people to know me like this.. And then you go on listing to yourself all the things about you that aren’t perfect and that would, no doubt, make any friendship not worth considering — sooner or later that new acquaintance will find out the truth: that you’re not perfect. Then they’ll stop contacting you, they’ll stop responding to your calls and will pretend to not recognize you on the street! There’s no way you can take that risk. No, it’s better you wait. Maybe things will get better. One day you’ll be like the perfect and perfectly rich characters on TV, and then you’ll go and socialize. Then people will love you.
It would be easier to stay at home with the television and maybe a book or two, than enduring the stress of meeting anyone, but we are created as social beings. We aren’t meant to be alone. Not even you. And I have spectacular news for you: socializing relieves depression.
To conclude, don’t listen to those negative thoughts and don’t engage in negative self-talk. Especially when you’re just about to set up a meeting. It’s okay if things don’t work out, you’ll feel embarrassed or you never hear of them again. There are over eight billion people on this earth, and none of them criticize you as much as you criticize yourself.
Make yourself a task and upgrade your social life. If you’re not meeting anyone on a regular basis, pick up the habit of setting a meeting with someone — a friend, family member, coworker, neighbor, stranger… a therapist doesn’t count— once a week. If you already are meeting someone once a week, make it twice a week. And don’t get stuck to meeting the same person every single time, but try to meet someone new every once in a while.
In the next post I will write about the details of socializing; whom you should socialize with and why as well as some things to avoid.
